| Nerf Wildfire | About once an hour this FREAK I work with leaps into the corridor and unloads a full-auto volley of Nerf darts into some hapless project manager. You MUST read the Amazon customer reviews for this thing; Look for the one which begins "DBAs BEWARE!". This is the less-lethal weapon of choice for the modern geek.
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A nifty-looking laser pointer
| If you have pets of the scampering ilk, you must get this thing. Cats perform impromptu interpretive dances trying to catch the glittering red dot. Dogs will oh-so-adorably rev themselves up to full speed and powerslide into walls or in-laws chasing after the elusive beam. Ferrets will -- I have no idea what ferrets would do. Probably drive to the store and buy their own. I imagine toddlers would probably dig it too, although you must remember that this is a real laser and must be kept away from tender little eyes and gaping little nostrils. Don't think I've forgotten what happened with the Twizzlers.
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Sea Monkeys: Ocean of Light
| Yes! Sea Monkeys! Create life! Exercise absolute authority in a tiny universe of your very own! When you grow weary of them (approx 5-7 minutes) you can slip them into your evil coworker's coffee or feed them to your midget whale! If you REALLY like to reanimate brine shrimp, you should also check out the Sea Monkey Aquarium Watch.
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