|The Wave has an organic curvaceousness that implies that the next version will be installed in place of your dreadfully fragile and inelegant thumb and index finger. For now, though, a Leatherman carried on the belt is like a form of power-assist exoskeleton. Who wouldn't want one of those? The instant you put The Wave on your belt, the list of ACTIONS I CAN PERFORM RIGHT NOW grows from BREATHE, SPIT, and FANTASIZE ABOUT [GILLIAN ANDERSON and/or DAVID DUCHOVNY] to include SNIP THROUGH STEEL WIRE, SAW THROUGH A 2X4 and SLICE THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF MY THUMB. Wearing a Leatherman is a sign that you've evolved. It's like we've added a new stage in the development of homo sapiens. Cower before me, you dung-flinging primates! I can unscrew stuff!|
|Anything even vaguely related to Darth Maul||Admit it. You wish YOU were as snark-farkingly HARD CORE as Darth Maul. I'm no different. Man, I'd just go around growling and bisecting people when they cut in line or made fun of my head. And I recently learned that the marks on his face are tattoos and not an embarrassing birthmark. That's so hard core.|
You basically can't go wrong buying anything here for anyone. You could buy a Darth Maul action figure for everyone on your list and avoid all that tedious "finding the right gift" headache. And don't feel guilty if you do. Just ask yourself: WWDMD?
Copyright 1999 Benjy Feen / www.feen.com
Unauthorized publication prohibited.